We have all been there: we thought we found the love of our life, but then noticed that they do not like our cat so we decide to split up. Again, we’ve all been there. But you know what makes the difference between desperation while eating a jar of ice cream in loneliness and finding again interior peace? Attitude!
In the past few weeks, we talked about sexual stereotypes, masturbation, orgasm… But today it is time to talk about the issue that makes all of us fear Christmas dinner with family and their questions: whether we have a partner or not. More in particular, if and how we are really supposed to enjoy life also when single.
Sometimes being single appears like a curse, almost as if life is not enjoyable or worthwhile when without a partner; a report also shows that single people might feel discriminated against for that. As a consequence, I deemed it appropriate to try to dismantle the pity happy couples feel for single people and have a laugh together might seem a good way to do that.
I am well aware, my friends, of how difficult surviving a break up is: the fear of not being enough, being scared of being alone and, probably the worst part, again swiping left and right on Tinder hoping to meet the love of our life (but sometimes also of a night would be enough). However, as the wise Taylor Swift would say, “Scary news is: you‘re on your own now. Cool news is: You‘re on your own now.” And, I don’t know about you, but I trust her.
But now it is time to stop messing around and to start remembering that, when all is dark, Twitter can still give us good hints while trying to recover and enjoying the single life. Here are the 5 best tweets I think might help all of us during our “alone time”, reminding us that, if on one side there’s no end to the worst, on the other one it is always possible to find a reason to laugh… especially if at ourselves.
1 – Mood: Unavailable
Raise your hand if, at least once, the problem was not being single, but simply being unavailable. I admit it, I can probably raise even 3 hands. Does it make us bad people? Nope, as long as we don’t lie to others and, in particular to ourselves. It is ok if we do not want or can stay with someone and, maybe, work on us (let’s remember that often we go to therapy because people around us didn’t!). If that’s the case, make sure you are honest about that. Unavailable? Yes, but make it cool… and honest.
2 – Being socially acceptable? No thanks!
The most frustrating part of trying to go back into the game (and by game I mean the feral world of dating)? You have to go out, meet people and, the worst part, talk: talk, for maybe the 156th time, about your favourite colour, your plans for the weekend and, if you are into this stuff, your astrological sign.
Let’s stop faking it, it is a real pain and do not pretend it is not! Probably the difficulty also lies in not knowing who you might find: the love of your life, a good night of enjoyable sex or a psycho? Unfortunately, we will never find out unless we wear those damn pants and talk.
3 – Key rules: high standards and low expectations
It is true: the more you stay in the “single market”, the more you become picky and raise the bar. At the same time, you are also more aware that things in the world, as much as you might not like them, do not live according to your expectations. What does it mean, however, from a practical point of view? It means that people live in the way they want, whether you like it or not. It is up to you to decide if staying with a certain person and accept them for who they are. I think there is nothing wrong in deciding not to settle only because we are scared of being alone. Allow me to be honest: we have survived until now being single, do we really prefer waking up in the morning with somebody we find annoying rather than enjoying our own company?
4 – Find joy in the small things
Who said being single is sad and the only situation in which you can have a romantic dinner is with your cat? Sometimes, the fear of being alone is so strong that we forget the freedom we can have, not only if single people, but as people. Well, in this context we are talking about being single, so for now, I will stick to this anyway.
Being single also means finding happiness in what we often overlook when we are with someone. Sometimes it is possible to find these small sprinkles of joy in small actions we were not able to do anymore when in a couple. Like farting spicily into the abyss during the night. And it is ok if the only “much calor” you have is coming from the famous jar of pepperoncinis.
5 – Please, remember also single people need to eat.
We have all been there: one moment you are making dinner for two, and the minute after you are looking for a single portion of lasagna. The good news is that cooking is taking you less time, the bad one is that usually portions you buy at the supermarket are huge- And you’re gonna eat the same stuff for a week.
Some companies are now making the effort to think about people whose partner is an amazing black and white cat, but lots still need to be done
Can we please normalise being single? Can we please start packing food for one person, not for one family? Single people are sick of eating the same thing for 10 days to avoid wasting food. The struggle is real.
In conclusion, my friends, as you can see, being single, like any other thing in life, has both pros and cons. To be fair, we are the ones deciding in which direction it can lead us to. And, hopefully, deciding not to slap in the face the next family member asking us about our unfortunate romantic life.
Let me know in the comment section what you enjoy (or not) about single life!
I like reading your articles! Nice to realise that actually there are different perspectives to be noted. I love the point about food! This is my struggle hahaha
Thank you so much Karina! Yeah, the struggle is real!