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Opinion: how to handle abuse in relationship.

Photo by Quimono for Pixabay

As a certified relationship coach and counsellor, I have helped tens of clients handle abusive relationships. I have also discovered that abuse is one of the predominant crises in relationships, especially, romantic relationships. The dilemma of abuse in most romantic relationship is that most victims are weaken by the romance and love they have for their abuser which make it difficult for them to take legal steps to mitigate the abuse.

There are different kinds of abuses, but we will be handling only four of them:

Verbal abuse:   This is the use of improper words on one’s partner. It is the use of disrespectful, derogatory, or defamatory statements against one’s partner. Verbal abuse also involves verbal threats. Partners who experience verbal abuse should see a relationship coach for anger/self-control therapy session.  

Financial Abuse: This Kind of abuse is when one’s partner misuses one’s finances or uses one’s finances without one’s consent. This type of abuse can be criminal in action but love and romantic feeling may make it hard to take legal steps against such partner. What do you do to prevent such? Do not share your phone passwords, debit card pins, your banking statements, and do not have joint financial account with such partner. As a relationship coach, I have observed that people who abuses their partners financially are either gamblers, alcoholic or drug addicts, cheats, or gold diggers. If you are a victim of  financial abuse, you are advised to observe your partner to know if he/she falls into any of the above categories. Also reach out to you relationship coach for more personalised counselling.

Physical Abuse: this is when one physically maltreats one’s partner. This includes beating, hitting, pushing, slapping and many violent acts that elicits physical pain on your partner. This is a life threatening abuse and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Our clients are advised urgent temporal separation as soon as physical abuse sets in. many have lost their lives while accommodating physical abuse from their partner. Physical abuse must be called out as soon as possible. Life and wellbeing is worth more than any relationship.

Sexual Abuse:  This is having sexual intercourse or romance with an unwilling and non-consenting partner. It is sometimes interpreted as rape especially when it involves force. Some partners assumes that it is their right to have sexual affair with their partners even without their consent. However, before the law it is an abuse and treated as such. To balance this, we advise partners not to starve each other sexually as such may led to sexual abuse or cheating. We also advise victims of sexual abuse to come with their partner for sex therapy session with their relationship coach.

I hope it made sense to you? Can I hear your opinion in the comment session.

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5 Responses

  1. Agreed! Any form of abuse in a romantic relationship is a red flag but the abuser can gaslight & manipulate the other to stay because they can & play on the vulnerability of the one they’re abusing. They aim to tear down a person’s self esteem & sanity etc. The person may stay also out of fear for their life if they try to leave or financial stability because they have nowhere else to go. It’s a worldwide problem but unfortunately some countries don’t take it as serious as other’s. Articles like this need to be more available as they could push someone to look for help & could save lives. Well said!!

  2. Staying in an abusive relationship is a no-no, I hope people get and receive the help they need to leave such situations.

    1. So true dear, though, sometimes ,it’s not easy to walk out of a relationship you have invested in… sometimes you need an extra push from a third party

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