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How to be a “woman” (things I learnt from the movie barbie and a scene from avatar the last airbender)

There are so many “ways” to be a woman, on a popular tiktok sound that goes “oh how I love being a woman”. It’s my favorite trend so far, I love women dancing in their pretty dresses and embracing whatever womanhood means to them. I love seeing them bond in sisterhood and just frockling in the sun, bathing it all in. I have never really asked myself what womanhood means to be but I have seen what it means to the world, and what is expected of a woman. In a very heartbreaking scene, America Ferrara who played Gloria explained how impossible it is to be a Woman.

photo credit: pinterest

The complicated reality most women live in, it is a bit bizarre the amount of pressure society places on Women. I’ve seen the women around me embrace womanhood and their definitions of it, I’ve seen women defy everything they are supposed to be and they have excelled in not conforming. In the new avatar ( A show i’m entirely obsessed with) katara a character with powerful water-bending skills wanted to help in the war, and a master told her women were meant to heal, not fight wars. When the old master finally agreed, the scene cuts to women healers who had water bending skills looking up at him so ready to belong, to fight, to show up, to protect their community. This scene sent shivers down my bones, showed me that being a woman means not backing down. So here’s how to be a woman from me to you.

(1)Do not conform : Who cares if the world thinks you should wear your hair long, if you want short hair or dyed hair or bleached hair or covered hair or purple hair with flowers sprouting from your skull. Get it, the world would adjust.

(2)Be a girls girl: I think it’s so cliche at this point to still play the mean girl part, so hold your friend’s hair while she pukes in the bathroom of a nightclub. Lend a tampon to the girl in the bathroom of a mall, and I know a lot of these refer to bathrooms so here’s something outside of that. Cheer other women on, for getting a degree and for leaving a toxic relationship. For getting a new job, for having a baby, for buying a new car, for running a Marathon, for winning a noble prize, for getting out of bed, for showing up, for just being. For just existing.

(3)Define your Femininity: There’s no one way to be a woman, you don’t have to wear a pretty dress or heels. You can wear a hoodie and sneakers, and you’d still be as woman as any woman. You can frolic in flowers and sunlight or wear a plaid shirt cutting down woods to make firewood, you’d still be as woman as any woman if that’s what you want.

(4)Take care of Un numero: Water yourself, invest in you. As cliche as it seems self-love is a form of medicine to you and those around you. If you water your garden and your neighbor sees how beautiful it looks, they’d want to try too. And self care might be taking a break, watering yourself might be showering(no pun intended), or just laying in bed to binge watch tv shows, it might be going to gym or maybe actually taking a bite of food. Listen to what you need and provide, being a girls girl includes being kind to you.

(5)Create your own list of what it means to be a woman: Defy, do not conform, readjust, recreate, untame yourself, let loose, grow, experience and just be woman.

I read a quote about the writer saying they have never know a relaxed woman, they know successful women and strong women and powerful women but never relaxed ones. Try for us all, I think womanhood is a beautiful thing to be a part of but it’s also a heavy journey. I’m proud to be a woman, not despite but regardless of everything.

photo credit- pinterest: A March

In the spirit and celebration of women’s day almost here, for the women who fought to get us where we are today and the ones who are still carrying this fight. I hope you choose yourself enough to be the woman you deserve to be.

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