In the era of lace wigs, hair texturising, and ‘texlaxing’, I often find myself interrogating the ideas assigned to natural hair especially ones linked to confidence and the acceptable beauty standard in different spaces. I know conversations about this have been had for a long time particularly relating to natural hair and the workplace, but after the great natural hair buzz that happened from around 2017, the trend has shifted back to relaxers and what’s more popular now-wigs. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with choosing to wear your hair however you like, I’m just curious as to whether these trends reflect on what our thoughts about natural hair really are.
We have come a long way in creating awareness and embracing curls and textures after an even longer period of not considering natural hair neat and presentable enough. Presentations in the mainstream media today could still do much better, but there’s been huge steps in new media. Even with these strides, there have been concerns that most of the content that is available on social media only suits looser curls and straight hair. The problem is, if you don’t fit into this category, you end up feeling left out, or feeling the need to change or hide your hair. It greatly contributes to the cultivation a lack of confidence.
The constant battle with the negative notions of natural hair for black women can influence decisions about how we wear our hair. Whether it’s in professional settings or more relaxed environments, natural hair is always being held against a standard. This is why I question the wig and relaxer trends. Of course, it is not always easy to tell why someone chooses not to wear their curls out- it’s all an introspection practice, and you can only truly know that for yourself. One obvious telltale however is the need to explain your hair when it’s not in a protective style. There is also an ease to call it a ‘bad hair day’ when really, your hair is just doing it’s natural thing which is very disheartening. For people with 4c hair, I have also observed an ease to talk down on their hair and make comparisons against looser curl patterns. This is rather popular across the type 4 hair community. Watch the video below for a deeper understanding of how detrimental these are.
When I first became more proactive about natural hair, I remember going into my workplace after unravelling my overnight bantu knots and having my colleagues really puzzled at my hairstyling choices. I was not very insecure about my choices then, but if I was, I imagine it would have influenced how I showed up afterward. Growing up, hair days were not fun for me- for every hair appointment, I went through painful detangling, very high heat- straightening sessions, and long periods of sitting just to braid my hair and I always wished my hair came naturally straight. I suppose this is why my mum opted to relax my hair when I was about 11 or 12- it was just ‘easier’. I talk about this in last week’s YouTube live session where we shared a bit about our hair experiences and especially about experiencing heat damage. You can watch a clip of that below.
Over time, I have had to be more conscious of how I think and speak about my hair in my not-so-little contribution to the type 4 hair community. This has come as a result of a shift in perspective. I had to unlearn the standards presented in the media-and especially the ones that were linked to 4c hair, and learn that my natural hair is enough in every space. This is where my confidence comes from. It took time for me to get here-and there’s much more to be done but it’s a good place to be. I am also conscious of the times we are currently living in- which are much better in terms of inclusion and an appreciation for diversity therefore encouraging showing up authentically-which I would say have played a big part in this shift for me.
As I finish up, this journey to hair confidence looks different for everyone and hair choices are just that- choices. There should always be space for conversations about problematic notions that suggest anything close to conformity and inauthenticity. This is the only way we can redefine beauty standards and do away with shame. Let’s create more of such spaces and embrace diversity because this is the only way to encourage everyone to show up as nothing short of who they are!
