Polyamory or Monogamy?

“it’s in the nature of man to be polygamous, some of us chose to live in denial while others can’t stand the jealousy” says Tasha.

Polyamory is the practice and desire to have sexual relation with more than one partner, with the consent of all interested parties. Polyamory also known as consensual non-monogamy, the idea that relationships can be loving, committed, and serious, without being sexually exclusive. Polyamory continues to grow in prominence with young people, about 4 percent of all adults are in open or poly relationship but it is impossible to say how much of this is as a result of increasing exposure without conclusive statistics.

Sarah who has been in a relationship for a years, says she feel a sense of disconnection with her partner, according to her the relationship gets overwhelming every single time and at some point she wanted to quit: “I love Mike but sometimes love is never enough. I never saw myself in a polyamory relationship, but after I met Richard a lot has changed”

Sarah met Richard from the studio where she worked for 2years, but their relationship started two month ago, according to her being in a relationship with Richard balances a whole lot in her relationship life.

“when I told Mike about my relationship with Richard, initially he was upset but being in a relationship for 5years with him I understand his personality, and knowing his kind of person made it easier for me to express myself.”

In an interview with Tasha who has been in two relationships in less than 4 month, talks about what influenced her decision to become polyamory “watching my parents argue took a toll on me. When I was much older, I had a weird conversation with my dad about his cheating habits, and he said: ‘all men cheat, don’t be deceived by what you see in the movies, we all cheat’. Seeing my mum under so much pressure, I always wondered why she didn’t seek for pleasure outside – I mean I couldn’t tell her – but I think everyone deserve to be happy”.  She went further to say: “my first relationship with Robin I had the conviction that he cheats on me, I didn’t care to ask, I just knew it, and I wasn’t 100% comfortable in the relationship till I met Charles. “It’s in the nature of man to be polygamous, some of us chose to live in denial while others can’t stand the jealousy”. As the saying goes “don’t put all your eggs in one basket right?” says Tasha.

Polyamory is quite different from polygamy, which is the practice of having more than one partner at the same time, typically a woman, which is generally rooted in their cultural belief. An open partnership, which is not monogamous, is always different but often about having multiple intimate, romantic partners outside the relationship.

According to recent studies, for an estimation of 75% of men and 68% women admitted in cheating in some way, yet only 5% of people believe that their partner had cheated or will cheat at some point in their relationship, meaning that even the most conservative estimates would suggest that this happens much more frequently than expected.

Healthy communication is an integral aspect in relationships and it is a crucial component of every successful partnership. Either it’s a monogamy or polyamory relationship, all relationship have its up’s and down, but a healthy communication style will make conflict resolution easier and foster a stronger and healthier partnership. We need to understand that, no matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. partners are encourage to find a means of communicating that suits their relationship.

Healthy communication styles require practice and hard work.

Disclaimer:  Some of the names of the interviewees were changed to protect their identities.