OPINION: Sleeping Beauty, Prince Charming and other liars. Online Dating in a Nutshell

A few days ago I was talking to a friend about how it seems like I attract weird situations. And I mean that in general, like the day I was locked inside the library in Ilac Shopping centre, but that is a story for another day.

The truth is that I do not mind these situations because I know they will end up in great stories. So much weird stuff had happened to me to this point, that every time I go out for a date I kind of expect it to end in a good story.

Of course, I had bad and boring dates like everyone else, but I just pretend they never happened and always remember the funny ones. Like the Scottish guy my friends call “the sleeping beauty”. I matched with him in Portugal, and we had a good, normal first date. It was so good I believed my curse was over and that could end up well.

Until he invited me for a second date.

As it was a weekday I had to work, but we agreed to meet in the evening and I was excited! I was living across the road from Jardim do Morro, a famous park where tourists and locals go to drink and watch the sunset, and there was our meeting point.

It was summer, so my friends came to the park to stay with me while Sleeping Beauty was not there. Half an hour after the agreed time I sent him a message asking if he was coming, and after a few attempts to contact him, I gave up and enjoyed the evening with my friends.

At 11:15 he texted me apologising, saying he fell asleep and asking if I could give him another chance. Usually, I do not see the signs life gives me, so I said yes, of course, I would like to see him again. We agreed to meet again on Friday night.

Guess what? He was late. Again. I messaged him. Again.

“I am so sorry! I fell asleep again. I had a big day and was really tired” he replied hours later. That happened again another two times (Do not judge me! I like to give second chances) until I decided to ghost him (I know, that is a toxic trait we judge here, but I am pretty sure he knew WHY he was being ghosted).

I believe he had a girlfriend and that was the reason he was only available late at night.

Talking about men with my friend at work, she revealed one of the craziest stories I have ever heard. Most of my bad dates happened in a normal environment, but hers started as a real fairytale! She was in Italy and met this super handsome, tall, well-dressed man.

They had many things in common and talked for hours on the first date. In the following four weeks, he brought her to the most expensive restaurants and she was living the dream. The man was perfect.

Too perfect.

They had not even kissed yet in that first month. But everything was magical, and they could talk for hours and hours! You know what? For me, that would have been a red flag… A whole month going to crazily expensive restaurants and not even a kiss?

She was delighted! The man was a complete gentleman, fancy and well-mannered. While she was telling me this story, I imagine someone like Christian Grey, but with no BDSM. Or sex. Or kiss.

After that first month, he had to fly back to the US and she came back to Ireland. Was the fairytale over? Of course not! The man was a prince, what would you expect? Weeks later he came to see her. And at this point, I am just worried about the kissing part.

I am a romantic person! But, like… Even the most romantic people would have kissed yet!

They stayed together for a few days and he went back to the US. However, Prince Charming was not able to stay away from her for too long, so he flew her to New York, and they had another few romantic days. To be honest, I believe she was too engaged in this situation because the kiss part is annoying me in an unhealthy way and the story is not even mine.

Well, she was in NY with him when this girl came to her and asked about the man. Weird, right? It gets worse. Apparently, the girl was Prince Charming’s girlfriend.

Yep.

He said that she was lying and he did not have a girlfriend, but after some insistence, he admitted he had had something with the girl some time prior, but they had long ago ended that. The girl was insisting he was her boyfriend and my friend did not know who to believe.

So she flew back to Ireland and left Prince Charming in her past.

It is ridiculous how women can not trust men. It should not be the case, but it is, and that is the reason women are coming together to help each other to find out when men are dating more than one at the same time.

Online dating is a real battle. You never know who to trust and the liars are the less suspicious ones! If you want some help detecting the first signs of red flags even before swiping right, you might like Aileen Barratt’s book Tinder Translator. If you wanna laugh at dating app’s bios read my previous post Do these men even like women?

And if you have a good story about bad and/or good dates, funny moments, weird people you met, or any experience related to online/contemporary dating, email me at online.dating.nutshell@gmail.com. If you do not want me to tell your name, let me know at the beginning that it is an anonymous story.