“If you like it then you should`ve put label on it”, (who doesn`t love a bit of Beyoncè) is a piece about how we, nowadays must label our sexuality. We all know that sexuality comes and has to do with us knowing our identity. However, people for some reason like to try and make their identity sound a lot cooler by trying to use different terms to describe their sexuality, religious and food preferences, with words or phrases we or anyone has never heard of. I recently read an article written in the Trinity magazine, September edition about sexuality in the ‘Sex’ section of the magazine. The article was titled “Demi sexuality”, don`t worry you`re not the only one who had the reaction of “what?”. Anyway the article went on about how this person went to New York, visited a sex museum like all us students do because we`re very intrigued and really just want to see some boobs and other sexy parts of the body, no point denying it. But this person went on and said that after looking at the different sources of pornography, they found themselves in a bit of a situation.
This situation made them reflect on their past sexual partners and sexual relations. After looking back, they realise that they`ve never had any real bond with someone before they`ve gone and had a relationship or had sexual relations with. Four paragraphs later, by the way the article was only 6 paragraphs long…they finally started to explain to myself and the readers what demi sexual and demi sexuality was. I know your curious to know about this new term in the English and sex language. So Demi sexuality is, according to this person, is when you must have a bond or some sort of connection with the person before you can be attracted to them and want to throw yourself at them…
So after reading this article I found myself asking a different question not the question about whether or not I`m demi sexual but the question of “why is it that people now have the desire to start labelling everything whether it has to do with sex or any other choices we people may make in life?” Fifty years ago, people only really knew about two different kinds of sexual orientations/labels. One was straight or the more appropriate label Heterosexual and the other was gay or its proper label Homosexual. Nobody ever really desired to research or go out into society and find out or expose new types of sexual orientations. This meant that only a couple of years later did a third common sexual preference come about, the preference called Bisexual. This meant that you liked both men and women. But 50 years later there are now 17 different terms to describe our sexuality. 17… weren’t expecting that were you. Don`t get me wrong I don`t like putting a label on my sexuality but some people do and really encourage people to do so.
From personal experiences, I know and you know yourself that finding out who you are can be very difficult, frustrating and confusing especially sexual orientations. Sexuality has become a much bigger world to feel comfortable in, because back 50 years ago you were either, straight, married off and had a family, or you were gay and shut out from society. But the idea and the activity of experimenting is a lot more accepted in today`s society, yes there is still that minority of those who don`t favour this activity. Although we have this freedom to explore our sexual orientations, we find ourselves bewildered by it. Some of us find it hard to approach it and others don`t approach it at all. People associate experimenting only with students because they think that they, we are still immature and developing as a person. Wrong, anyone and everyone no matter what part of their lives they`re in they can still have the chance and desire to experiment and also question their sexual preferences.
Aside from people wanting to know their own sexual identity they want to know what their friends and family’s sexual identity is. People in modern society have always and will always want to know what`s going on in the neighbours backyard, even if they believe Niall Horan or Brad Pitt are their neighbours. But sexual identity and anything else to do with our identity is private. Our religious beliefs and practices are private. Our desires in life are private. Our mental health is private. Our choice in food diets is private. Society wants us to label ourselves just so that can use us as another statistic. Our identity is not a statistic.
Due to social media, especially, we feel the need to express everything we are and must let the world know how our minds think. But we don`t. We do not need to spend 2 hours of the day writing a speech about how we have been suffering from depression, or about how we have finally built up the courage to say what our sexual orientations are, or we believe that being a meat eater is wrong because animals have feelings too. Our identities shouldn`t always have to be broadcasted to the world. One of the reasons behind why I`m writing this article…In addition to that our identities should not try to convince or determine other identities. It`s my identity, it`s your identity, nobody`s else.
Now that may sound like I`m telling people not to go about and discuss these above topics with friends and family. Yet, what I am saying is that people shouldn`t feel the need to go and express to the world whether through social media or just to loved ones about who they are. People shouldn`t be pressured in to thinking just because they don`t have a fancy term describing a part of their identity that they must go looking and researching and finding a term that is suitable to that part and their identity, so that the world can sleep a little easier at night. It`s your identity not the worlds.
If you know your sexuality and who you are, great. If you don`t, it`s not a bad thing, people always assume they know who they truly are, we don’t because there`s always new and reoccurring factors whether social, political, economic or cultural that come along and make us question who we are and our identities. So the people who think they know exactly who they are and think they know exactly who their friends are (identity wise), they do in some sense but anything can change. I`m not question theirs or your intelligence but I know I don`t know exactly who I am or who my friends are. Maybe that`s because I`m an immature student that has still a lot of growing up and developing to do, according to society.
But after reading this article and you do find yourself wondering what is your sexual orientation or if you`re just interested in knowing exactly what are those 17 different kinds of sexual orientations, there is a link bellow to where you can read all about them. Warning there are words you will not be able to pronounce and/or will have to look up in the dictionary. It`s ok I had to, I`m not ashamed. I don`t know every word in the dictionary.
To finish the piece off just a bit of advice to those who try to label other people`s identities. Next time you want to put a label on something let it be something in the fridge you don`t want your family, roommates or friends to eat. Not on someone else`s identity.