Can you feel it? Winter is coming. And just three days later, Christmas Eve. You may think: “Last year’s Christmas Eve was the worst, and I don’t expect the upcoming one to be much better.” Well, worry no more, here are a few tips to improve the quality of your Christmas Eve.
Get there well-rested. You probably don’t want to fall asleep in your plate during the Christmas dinner, or even after when listening for the hundredth time to your grandfather telling everyone how he could have been Tiger Woods if only he had desired so. And yes, for some unknown reason, a close link ties golf and seniors together.
Fake a cold. This ageless technique will make up for a wonderful excuse not to talk. Your family will be less likely to harass you with questions. Everything they wondered all year about your future, your studies, or your love life will remain unanswered, replaced with empathetic comments such as “Oh dear, you poor thing”.
Don’t eat too much. Although you may use a stomach ache as an excuse to go home early, the Christmas dinner represents one of the best opportunity to eat quality food and you should probably not waste it. However, don’t hesitate to vividly explain how much you dislike oysters. Or, if you like everything, rely on somebody else’s dislike to blend in by saying: “Oh yes, this is the worst.”
Use French words. You can easily look like a refined and educated person at Christmas with the simple use of common French words. ‘Foie gras‘ is basically duck liver cooked in a certain way, but it sounds way more stylish in French. And if you know that someone around the table pays a lot of attention to the way that animals are treated, starting a debate will seem incredibly easy when you will talk about how horrible it would be to live one of those ducks’ life. Other easy French words to use include ‘baguette‘ for bread and ‘fromage‘ for cheese (cheese often lies on the Christmas table).
And if you really hate your family, but consider yourself warned, this is an extreme advice, think about pretending to be dead. It makes up for the most efficient solution possible, but it will definitely have some serious consequences, such as your entire family hating you as well. And it goes without saying that you can kiss those tickets for a band you don’t even like or those books that you would never have opened anyway goodbye. In the end, you decide if all of this is worth it.
Got any advice you would like to add to the list? Don’t hesitate to post it in the comments down below, and Merry Christmas to you!
