You know those questions your other half asks you just before you go to sleep. Would you still love me if I were a worm? If you were a bird, what bird would you be? How many cartwheels do you think you could do in a month? Well, I decided to actually answer the last one!
I was challenged by my girlfriend to complete 500 cartwheels in the month of April, and I hate to back down from a challenge. Before fully thinking it through, I accepted the proposition without regard for my shoulders or my well-being. So, next on the agenda was deciding how I was going to find time for this astronomical number of cartwheels in just one month, especially considering I had previously averaged one cartwheel every three years. Here’s how I have broken them up so far!
Gym Cartwheels
Do you ever find yourself in your empty GAA clubhouse gym and cartwheeling between sets – well, I didn’t until this month.
Over the last two and a half weeks, the gym has been my own gymnastics floor, where I become the Rhys McClenaghan of cartwheels. No matter whether it’s leg day, push day, or pull day, I’ve found the time between exercises to wheel myself around the room and get closer to that 500 mark.
The easiest method of racking up those cartwheels is by executing three after each exercise. This has been hugely effective towards my end goal, easily doing between 50 and 60 cartwheels at every gym session. It also doubles up as an extra shoulder exercise to make me look one step closer C-Bum.
Pre/Post College Cartwheels
When leaving the house at 7:30, I struggle to find the motivation to get myself out on the road and then write these articles about my life, and cartwheels have made those mornings even harder. Nobody in their right mind over the age of 12 thinks that cartwheels are the best way to start their day, and at my old age of 25, I’m starting to wonder if my shoulders will give in before I’m 30.
Are you finding that your morning routine before college is pretty boring? Are you coming home from college and feeling like there’s nothing to do? Are you looking to improve your aerobic movement after sitting at a desk all day? Why not try some cartwheels!
Post-college cartwheels are a little bit easier. They’re a fun way to wind down after sitting in a classroom for hours, before then consuming your well-earned dinner (I wouldn’t recommend cartwheeling on a full stomach). You may find your neighbours ogle as you step out of your car and proceed to cartwheel to the front door, but once you get over the embarrassment of it all, you find yourself one step closer to evolving into a hand-walking human.
Adventure cartwheels
Admittedly, I have lacked this excitement in my cartwheeling exploits; however, there aren’t many outdoor scenarios where a cartwheel wouldn’t amplify the atmosphere.
Imagine you are hiking up one of the beautifully scenic Wicklow Mountains, and just as you reach the summit, you roll out a perfect celebratory cartwheel. Most of the fellow hikers are looking out over Glendalough, Guinness Lake, or Glen of the Downs, but your cartwheel would make their long-awaited photograph much more aesthetically pleasing.
Sunrise and sunset are famously the most photographic parts of the day, as the golden rays shine on the fields and the sea, and the middle-aged moms are doing yoga on the beach and walking their poodle in Dryrobes. These situations NEED some cartwheels. As the sun rises over the horizon, set your phone upon a rock and wheel it out in front of the golden ball, and watch as people applaud your theatrics on their morning stroll.
Take yourself out to your local soccer match this weekend, as the under-15s look for promotion against their fiercest rivals and schoolmates. There is no better way to distract the players from the big occasion than cartwheeling amid their warm-up and taking the pressure off the young stars. You may even find the opposing team through on goal, and just as they take their shot, you cartwheel behind the goal and take their focus away from scoring.
Cartwheels have become a staple in my daily diet, but I will be glad to see the first of May. The 500 mark is an achievable goal for a non-cartwheeler like myself, but maybe one day I will aim for more.
