A Traveler’s Guide to Staying Close From Afar
“A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand.”
Kahlil Gibran
Growing up, I knew I was never meant to stay in one place. The world was too big, with too many experiences waiting for me. While this was something that I had always looked forward to, it was difficult to conceptualise how much I was really leaving behind. Family, friends, and the community you built with your own hands remain at home, even as you move forward. The friends who carried you through every chapter, even the one where you prepared to leave, stay behind. The communities shaped by your passions and hobbies remain in the spaces you once filled.
Moving to a new place is always a huge adjustment, where a person faces leaving behind everything they have built to start fresh. One of the most difficult things to walk away from is the people who make your world feel like home. Starting over and making new friends is hard, but what people don’t talk about enough is how hard it can be to hold onto the friendships you leave behind.
Leaving home has shown me that the most difficult step isn’t the journey ahead, but the goodbye that comes before it.
We are fortunate to live in an age where communicating with the outside world is at our fingertips, literally. Between calling, video chat, texting, and social media, it seems like sustaining a long-distance friendship should be easy. And for the most part, it is very easy to stay in contact. However, when you look a bit deeper, there are challenges that arise as time passes.
There was a time when I knew my friend’s schedules better than my own. Now it’s tested by time zones and completely different lives moving at completely different speeds. A text that once got an immediate reply might now sit for hours, usually because I forgot it’s 3 a.m. there, and apparently most people don’t appreciate being asked for life advice in the middle of the night on a Tuesday.
When before you may have been the main proponent in organizing plans, now you are confronted with pictures in the group chat of a night out that you missed. Not because you weren’t invited, but because you live across an entire ocean. A minor issue that may affect your attendance.
Weekly coffee or drink dates become FaceTime calls. “I’ll come visit soon” turns into “Okay, maybe after this month.” Not because neither of you want to, just because life keeps happening in the in-between.
Making a long-distance friendship work can feel like a lot of work but there are some pieces of advice to follow to make it feel easy.
Be Thankful for the Time They Put Aside for You
Friendships in adulthood take effort, and distance makes that effort even more intentional. It might feel silly to say it out loud, but reminding your friends how much you appreciate them and the time they create for you strengthens the bond in ways distance never could.
A simple thank you goes a long way, especially when you may be feeling home sick and your friends are working overtime.
Give each other grace. Not every planned call or FaceTime will work out, and that’s okay. Everyone is balancing their own world, and strong friendships leave room for that.
Call Them or Text Them When You Think of Them
You don’t need to wait until your scheduled time to reach out to your friends. Sometimes texting them when something reminds you of them or something funny happens is a nice way to stay in touch.
There have been multiple instances where something small has reminded me of a person, and it resulted in a much needed catch up session. Calling a friend on a whim can sometimes result in an hour-long conversation if you catch them at the right time. If you don’t, it’s no problem, you can schedule a call soon. In the mean time, text them your thoughts that are more urgent.
Plan Trips to See One Another
Sometimes a phone call doesn’t quite fill the space distance creates, and that’s okay. While plane tickets aren’t cheap, choosing to set money aside to visit home or see a friend abroad can be exactly what your heart needs.
The anticipation of getting to visit home or show your best friends around a place that you now call home, is something for both ends to look forward to.
If you’re as lucky as I am, you have friends who meet you halfway, even splitting the cost of a ticket just so you can make it home for her birthday.
If you’re especially lucky you will have the kind of friends that book the flight without hesitation – who come to visit whenever they can, even more than once. Dublin is a relatively small city, and if you’ve seen it once, you have probably visited all of the notable landmarks. It proves that when a friend visits again and again, they’re there for you, not just for the sights, but for the time spent together.
Send Handwritten Letters
One thoughtful way to deepen a long-distance friendship is by sending handwritten letters or postcards. In a digital world, taking the time to write something by hand feels personal, intentional, and lasting. It is something you and your friends are able to hold onto long after this era in your friendship ends. Sending postcards from faraway places can make your friends feel seen, valued, and still part of your journey.
During a summer I spent working in rural Wyoming, handwritten letters and packages from friends back home reminded me that no matter how far I traveled, I was never alone. Almost three years have passed and I still hold on to every letter that my friends and family have sent me, each one a reminder of how loved I was from miles away.
Distance is Just a Detail
Long-distance friendships are not effortless, but they are worth every ounce of effort put in. Distance changes the rhythm of a relationship, but it doesn’t have to change its depth. While oceans, time zones, and busy schedules may separate you physically, intention keeps you connected. A text sent at the right moment, a planned visit circled on the calendar, or a handwritten letter tucked into a mailbox can remind someone that they still matter and that they are still part of your everyday life, even from far away.
The friends I’ve been lucky enough to have in my life have not only supported me through every journey I’ve taken, but have made it feel as though they were right by my side each step of the way. With every new adventure, I’ve also been fortunate enough to meet new friends who have become part of the circle that makes my world feel complete.
Leaving home means growing, exploring, and stepping into new versions of yourself. But it doesn’t mean leaving behind the people who helped shape you. Being a long-distance best friend is about choosing each other again and again, no matter the miles in between. And when the friendship is real, distance becomes just another detail in a story that is still being written.
