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How I deal with toxicity and relationships 

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What’s a toxic relationship? In my past years, I have been a poster person for poor decisions and this has taught me a lot about how to avoid toxic relationships.

Here’s Dr. Hilda Wong’s relationship advice for women

Being aware of your Personal Values

One of the most toxic yet teaching relationship I’ve had, lasted 5 years. We got together young. As we grew older, we grew apart. This showed me how important discovering yourself is in a relationship. When we know who we are, we can better identify what we value and what we expect. 

Knowing what our expectations are and identifying toxic traits are a key to a smoother partnership. 

Give it time. Know yourself first. It helps us communicate our values and giving the other person freedom to choose whether they want to meet us at our expectations.

Setting healthy boundaries 

Everyone has different approach to dating. For some it can cause all the nervousness and anxieties. We keep some personal power when we hold tight to a set of non-negotiables. It reminds us of our worth and our partner what lines we don’t want to be crossed.

Keeping one’s boundaries at priority is of utmost importance. Refuse to settle, it will save you heartache in the long run. People of good character over appearances and those who value themselves are more likely to respect yours.

Not setting boundaries for myself caused me to become a doormat in my past relationship. It really drains you of your self-esteem and confidence. 

Being self sufficient 

Many depend on their partners nowadays to be happy. You have to be your own source of happiness. Why depend on others to fill you up?

Doing what makes you happy is what marks the start of everything. That helps in confidence, self care and respect and most of all, joys from within. It makes you feel content when you’re satisfied with what you have. Once you have that, you wouldn’t look for others to make you happy. A healthy you will help you heal everything around you. 

Taking your own time

Time isn’t ever working against you. Time heals you from anything bad from the past. Time teaches you patience. Time gives you an opportunity to stand up again for yourself and regain your inner strength.

We all need to love keeping a positive detachment which mean we should I able to give all that love and positivity when it’s needed but should not be afraid to lose. 

It’s always a good idea to give time the growth it needs and use it to deepen with your personal values, align with your vision for life. This will attract all the positivity around you and the people alike. 

Last but not the least, its very important to know whether you are becoming toxic for someone else. Just as much its important to stay away from toxic relationships, its also important to keep yourself in check as well and ensuring a healthy lifestyle.

Watch this video for more details.

Do you also have advice from your own experiences? Please let me know in the comments below. 😃

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