We all want community, but are we actually showing up for it?
At some point in our lives, most of us say the same thing: “I just want a solid group of people around me.” A community. A support system. A village.
We want people who check in on us, celebrate our wins, sit with us when things fall apart, and remind us that we are not alone.
But recently, I heard something that made me pause:
To have a village, you must be a villager.
And I won’t even lie, it felt somewhat personal.
Because the truth is, a lot of us want community, but where we draw the line is in participating in said community.
We are all genuinely busy. Between working and studying, and trying to build careers, chasing opportunities, and just trying to keep our lives together, it almost feels like we barely have time to breathe. I thought to myself the other day, “Wow, I have been so busy that I haven’t even had time to feel sad.” That cracked me up for a minute, but it’s not even funny.
So inevitably, connection becomes something we postpone. We tell ourselves that we’ll deal with it when life is less chaotic. Instead, what ends up happening is that we slowly start to disconnect. And then one day you realize that something feels…off.
Not necessarily lonely, but not fully connected either.
That is the tricky thing about community. It is not built in the big moments. It’s the little, intimate, seemingly unimportant but consistent ones that count. Being part of a community is not just about having people around you. It is about showing up and being present. Making an effort even when it’s an inconvenience.
That is not always easy to admit. In my podcast, I talk more about my own experience with this. I discuss the times I did not show up, the excuses I made, and the moment it really hit me that I might be contributing to the very thing I was struggling with.
Because in reality, most of us do not go out of our way to neglect our relationships. We are just overwhelmed by life and distracted by the burning fires around us.
So maybe the question today should be, “Have I been showing up as a villager?”
Listen to the full podcast below.
