So, this question has been bothering me for as long as I can remember.
You know they say “A Zebra never changes his stripes” “A Leopard can’t changes her spots” “People don’t change, they reveal their real selves overtime”. Are these just wisdom sayings or just plain misunderstanding of the human nature?
I finished reading a book last night and I must say it’s one of the best books (if not the best) I have read on the study of human behavior. It is a book titled Change or die: The three keys to change at work and in life. It is specifically on whether humans can change or not.
In the book, there was a research conducted by the doctors on people who were diagnosed with serious heart problems. Some of the participants have even had open heart surgery to other related surgeries. The question was quite simple, it was “when faced with death, would patients change their behaviors to prevent future heart problems ?” Yeah, I know right.
The study concluded that a year after the diagnosis/surgery, over 50% of the patients have stopped taking their medication. And after two years 90% were back to the same behaviors they had before the surgery/diagnosis. I hope you are getting what I’m trying to say here. Even those that have had open heart surgeries before the had with these doctors went back to their old ways after two years even when though they know they might have to do a surgery again.
I mean one would believe this example says a lot about change isn’t it? It says change is very hard even when faced with death.
Okay luckily for some of us we are not in a situation to make life or death decision right now. However, many of us are in situations where making some changes could impact our careers, relationships, happiness, peace of mind, etc. I’m not going to divert and talk about whether it’s right to make this changes or not, it’s wholly my choice or your choice do not let anyone change that. My main goal here is the answer to the question “do people really change?”.
Low key, I believe that too, I believe we can decide to become a good person or even bad person whatever it is and push our old ways to the tip of the rope and a little tick can just escalate. Note, these old ways aren’t removeable, it’s not like picking dirt in beans. It stays there even if it is far away and it takes a really really really strong person to leave it there. It’s like an addict that goes to therapy or rehabilitation, they are fine for a while but when they take a lil of what they were addicted to, it becomes war again. I personally have a problem with people who “change” and always talking about it. “If not that I’ve changed, I would have done this and that”, my sweetheart “hold it!!!”. If you are gonna change do it and just…shut it.
I’m not saying this is the case for everyone one but with the little I’ve seen (trust me I believe I haven’t seen or been through anything compared to a lot people) . It is just mainly what I think.