According to a study carried out by core research in March 2020, 1 in 5 Irish couples between the ages of 25 and 34 met through online dating apps. Now that’s not to say that it is significantly easier to find love in this modern era. It’s well known that many people struggle with the concept of meeting someone online. If you watched the Netflix documentary the Tinder Swindler are trying to come up with a similar scheme in order to improve your tinder success, maybe try these tips first.
Choosing Your Pictures
Like it or not the pictures that you choose are going to be the first impression you give to potential matches. People will always have that need to be physically attracted to their partner so its so important that you use pictures that you look your best in to leave a lasting impression on the matches, At the very least have your first picture as the one in which you think you look your best in. For the rest of your pictures its important to try and tell the person a little bit about you. Show what’s important you as well maybe pictures of you and your family or your dog. Remember when you do get talking to someone online you will be constantly looking for material to keep the conversation flowing so the best tactic is to try and give as much detail in your pictures and profile initially.
The Bio and Prompts
Its important in your bio that you again give as much detail about yourself in terms of your own interests, Your always looking to find some common ground with your matches so the more info you give about your work life, personal life, hobbies, and interest’s the better. Its important to keep this theme your prompts but you can add a little bit more humor to them. A little bit of humor or individuality will make you stand out a little bit from the rest.
Right now, at this stage you should go off and start swiping. If you followed our tips so far it shouldn’t take you long to match with someone that takes your fancy.
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Nailing the First message
This first message is vital, but there’s a couple of things you can stick to give you the best chance of getting a response. As Jackie Chan told us earlier, Hi or Hey isn’t going to cut it here. A great way of starting off is just complimenting them, tell them they look cute or really nice in their photo. Keep the compliment subtle, you don’t want to go too strong too early Then mention something in their photo that sparks your interest and its vital you ask them a question about it. I cant stress that point enough, you need to give them something direct that they can respond to. And finally tell them something about yourself that you can see you have in common with them. For example an ideal first message would be “Hi how are you ? I hope you don’t mind me saying you and your dog look really cute in your first photo. What’s your dogs name ? I have border collie called bobby and he’s great fun 😊” In this instance we’ve kept it short and we’ve complimented them, we’ve achieved a common ground with dogs and we’ve left it really easy for her to reply. That’s as much as we can do and if you don’t get a reply don’t get disheartened. This is the biggest hurdle to jump and your definitely not going to have a 100% success rate with this, just keep swiping. If you’re looking for something casual, doublelist and alternative sites will fit your needs and make it easy for you to connect with other people.
Keep the Conversation Going
If you get a response to that first message you’ve taken a major step. Well done. Breath a sigh of relief and lets get stuck into this conversation. Now chatting online most people tend to overthink and are worried about saying the wrong thing or even running out of things to say. This is actually quite easy to overcome with the right connection. Firstly never lie or pretend to be someone that your not. I know it’s a cliché but you’ll find you’ll achieve the best results if you just be yourself when talking to someone. Keep just bringing up different topics like family, sport, music, interests, hobbies, cooking, work life, art, technology, podcasts, Netflix. And always include at least one question in your responses so they always have something to reply too and your taking the stress away from them. The trick is to be constantly fishing for common interest’s until you find a few and after that you’ll find the conversation will just flow. Add a bit of humor and don’t be afraid to slag them a little. Someone who is too nice is almost as bad as someone who is really mean. So finding that right balance is important. Slagging one another has become such a huge part of Irish culture and there’s never any harm in a slag regarding a team they follow or a show that they watch. Saying that though keep it balanced and be sure to pay them compliments now and again. Lastly according to howtogettheguy.com the number one conversation killer with 49% of both male and females surveyed is past relationships, and the second biggest conversation killer is weight and body image. So stay away from them two topics if at all possible.
Try to move away from the Dating App
After two to three days of constant over and back flow of conversation a good move at this stage would be move away from the dating app messaging and suggest another form of social media to converse on. A messenger app like Facebook chat, WhatsApp, Instagram or snapchat are all ideal. These are the main forms of communication that people converse with their friends and family so physiologically your moving from the stranger off the dating app to someone who they enjoy conversing with and this way your giving yourself a much better chance when you ask them on a date in a couple of days time.
The first date
When you’ve had constant conversation for between 5-7 days its time to ask them on a first date to see if there’s a connection in person. If you ask them before this stage they might not know you well enough yet to accept and leave it any longer and things start to go stale. Ask them in a casual manner that’s not too strong but lets them know that your interested in them. Example of this would be “ Hey, so we’ve been chatting for a few days now and I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, would you be interested in meeting up in person 😊?” If she says yes, Happy days, you’ve got yourself a date. A good idea would be to go do an activity of sorts that your also able to converse at the same time as keeping you occupied. Bowling is ideal for this. You see chatting in person is not like texting you need to be sharp and on the ball with the conversation so bowling kind of gives you that respite in between chatting and allows you take a swing at the pins while your thinking of the next thing to say. Do not go to the cinema. You don’t get to know the person at all and your no wiser as to whether you have a connection with them than before you went on the date. After that its up to you. You’ll either have a connection on the first date and will want to see them again or you wont and you go again at the swiping. Best of luck and I hope this article is helpful in your endeavor to find love.
