For those who may not know, Linkedin is the world’s largest professional social media platform allowing its users to find a job, manage their professional image and build a network that can be useful in the future. However, being on Linkedin is a bit like going to the gym, where everyone sells themselves as having the best body while admiring themselves in the mirror. After the world of Narnia or Harry Potter it is time to visit this parallel world called “Linkedin”, a realm of narcissism.
Rule n°1 : always show that you are an exceptional person
Helping people around us who are in need is something very important that we should all do. How about posting it on Linkedin to show the extent of our generosity? This Linkedin user didn’t hesitate one second to publish his good deeds to show that he has his hand on his heart. Next time, you can help others but don’t use it to boost your image.
One for you @CrapOnLinkedIn 😬 pic.twitter.com/0cfkVwgY0S
— Zak (@shotbyzak) April 1, 2022
Rule n°2: let the philosopher in you speak
Drawings, quotes, personal experiences, on Linkedin, nothing is left to be desired to attract the attention of other users. To be a good follower of this social network, you will have to be creative, artistic and deeply committed to the quality messages you engage in. Go big or go home!
I think I was actually sick in my own mouth pic.twitter.com/g7Aw2vN3XX
— The State of LinkedIn (@StateOfLinkedIn) April 15, 2019
Rule n°3: Do far too much
If you really really want to be true a member of the Linkedin community, you will have to make many efforts in order to be accepted in this rather particular universe. Make Linkedin your priority, your obsession. Not even your own wedding, the birth of your first child or your mother’s birthday should stop you from enjoying this social network with such intense testimonies and from expressing yourself daily in your posts because millions of people are waiting for you. Better to be alone than without Linkedin…
Imagine having to make an agreement with your soon to be wife that you won’t go on LinkedIn over your wedding weekend pic.twitter.com/ys2LAId30k
— The State of LinkedIn (@StateOfLinkedIn) March 18, 2021
Rule n°4: Tell your life in details, we all love that
Before writing a post on Linkedin, you will have to remember that millions of people are interested in your life and are impatiently waiting for the review of your day. People want to know more about you, sharing your bank details, address or social security number could help you develop your network and create a great Linkedin community! Don’t forget to include a bit of poetry in your posts to create a dramatic effect, it adds a little mystery to your profile.
This could be my favourite one yet. Howler. pic.twitter.com/DdmI3qS8bs
— The State of LinkedIn (@StateOfLinkedIn) February 20, 2019
Rule n°5: Share your precious advice with the users
Although some put themselves forward a lot on Linkedin, this network is also a sharing tool where the users can convey their best advice in the professional world. Every detail counts in finding a job so don’t miss out on the Linkedin community’s advice on how to make your words so intense that no recruiter can resist you. Linkedin makes you very, very powerful…
Also very, very irritating for the person who asked you a question #LinkedIn pic.twitter.com/1UK7MfZPpT
— Crap On LinkedIn (@CrapOnLinkedIn) June 16, 2019
One Response
Ha, this made me laugh.. LinkedIn is the worst sometimes