Donald Trump is slowly setting up his cabinet, choosing wisely his closest advisors. A week of mourning has officially ended and for some people, it’s time to act and laugh. Whether it’s by protesting or creating hilarious Joe Biden memes, the world is channeling their frustration in all the right ways.
Here at the Circular, we decided to compile a gallery of people who could become Trump’s most trusted advisors on the issues of energy and the environment. Plus, we decided to add Steve Bannon in there just for the giggles.
Environmental Protection Agency Director
Myron Ebbel, a.k.a. the biggest fan of mild winters is a climate change skeptic who was directing environmental and energy policy at the libertarian Competitive Enterprise Institution. His opinion column in Forbes “Love Global Warming”, and his lifetime dedication to denying it has made him the best candidate to run Environmental Protection Agency.
Secretary of Energy
Harold Hamm is an Oklahoma billionaire, and the CEO of oil extraction company. This master fracker has already been named the presumptive choice for secretary of energy in Mitt Romney’s cabinet in 2012, and he’s thrilled to be considered for the position again. He loves firing people almost as much as Trump, most recently when he asked the dean of the University of Oklahoma to fire earthquake scientists who suggested fracking was connected to major earthquakes in the Midwest. A man who knows his oil and natural gas surely is the right man for the job.
Secretary of the Interior
His name says it all, Forrest Lucas. FOR(r)EST! He’ll be amazing at taking care of the only beautiful parts left in the U.S. He is currently the top choice for Secretary of the Interior, which oversees all national parks, the U.S. Geological Survey and the Bureau of Land Management. Future looks bright with an oil tycoon who will, hopefully, manage to find more fossil fuel resources in areas that enjoyed high protection (not anymore hombres, not anymore.). He also founded Protect the Harvest, a pro-farming and pro-ranching organisation that opposes radical animal rights organizations, or as he likes to call them: wasters of oxygen.
Sarah EFFIN Palin
In an interview with CNN, Sarah Palin expressed her wish to be an energy director, however, Trump sees her in a position of secretary of the interior, as well as Lucas. After countless meetings with Mr. God, Palin realised that all fossil fuels were dumped in the U.S. soil by Mr. Almighty so the American people wouldn’t have to use dirty oil from Muslim countries. She states that, if she comes to the White House, she will continue her lifelong dream of exterminating polar bears, so people would stop worrying about ice caps melting.
Not related to Energy or Environmental Department, but after this amazing lineup of soon to be very important people, Steve Bannon deserves a mention. Bannon spiked controversy in the media this week because of his history of antisemitism, racism, and ownership of alt-right Breitbart News website. Bannon’s genius and talents are being overlooked because of his love for concentration camps. Republicans and president-elect hope that Americans will appreciate his experience as an investment banker and businessman, and shift their focus from imaginary problems (racism) to real problems the U.S. is facing. This Goldman Sachs golden boy will be a crucial factor for draining the swamp.