AH record stores, home to many kinds of people. If you’ve ever decided to visit one of the Dublin variety you are bound to meet or bump into any number of the characters listed below. Odds are you fall into one of these categories too, sorry.
1. The Hipster
I mean, there’s always one isn’t there? That guy in the corner hanging out by the unmarked stack of possibly local or creative and “forward thinking” bands you have never even heard of. You see him, with his skinny jeans and shaggy beard, and all you can help to think of is “Why are you even in HMV? Surely this is too mainstream for you?”
2. The Metal Dude
Maybe the first thing you notice about this guy is the screeching sound coming from his headphones. The second thing you may note is how he is in dire need of learning how to do a ponytail. Rest assured he won’t budge from his aisle/stack (depending on how good the selection actually is). You should tell him to check out hair tutorials on YouTube, I’m sure he’ll love your input.
3. The Drifter
This person is just all over the shop. Hopping from one section to the next, not knowing what they’re even looking for. Slightly irritating and maybe a little weird, this is the guy that will make you want to leave pretty fast if you can’t keep your cool.
4. The “I’ll just ask where it is” Guy
This is the kind of person that doesn’t really belong here. He fails to realise the whole point of going to a record store is to dig and possibly uncover some gems along the way. He takes the lazy route. On the other side of it he gets what he wants, has a starbucks, tries on jeans in Topman, walks his dog, visits his Grandmother for tea and watches The Dark Knight for the fifth time and you’re not even out of the store yet.
5. The Hardcore Flicker
This guy could become your friend very fast. He spends his days in here so he knows what’s what. He’s mastered the art of digging so much so that he practically has a degree in record finding. He is the guy that will soon be hired by the store, so you better tuck away that crappy CV you were thinking of handing in, this guy’s already got it.
6/7. The Two Girls
Last but by no means least, you have the two most annoying people that could ever possibly walk the Earth bugging you while you’re trying to find that B-Side Radiohead. Giggling, talking out loud, answering phone calls… you name it, these girls are doing it. They’re trying to ruin your life. Bit dramatic? Maybe. You could always just pop in your earphones.
There you have it, the seven people you are destined to meet in a record store. Now, ask yourself a question and be honest. Which one are you?