I’ve been around the Tinder block. When it comes to dates I feel like I’ve met them all, but they just keep on surprising me. Here are the ten things, or men that you may come across when technology becomes reality.
1) He’s too honest
I’m all for honesty, but there comes a stage when a girl just has to walk away. He’s the guy who at the end of the date says ‘So will we go back to mine, have sex and never talk again?’, without an ounce of humour. Just walk away girl.
2) The Student
He’s good craic because you met him that night you shifted his friend at that party back in first year. But just somehow, he’s still in college… He’s funny, up for the drink but you just cannot see past the fact that his mother has called him three times, and it doesn’t look like he’s graduating this year…again.
3) The County Cock
We all love a passionate lad, but he shows up to the date in his beloved clubs GAA jersey. You give him a chance. But he shows up to the second date with his cherished hurl that got him to the Junior B division in sixth class.
4) Who are you?
You’re friends on Facebook, you Snapchat… but you don’t know who this guy is. His Tinder pictures were cute and his personality was brilliant. But he walks over to you at the bottom of Grafton Street he doesn’t look like that guy, in any way shape or form. Does this mean I’ll be on Catfish? I’ve always fancied Nev.
5) Super Intelligent
There is nothing sexier than a smart man, so why not give him a shot? You’re currently sitting in an old man bar downing your vodka and studying the interior as he yaps on about the latest journal on microorganisms.
6) The Scary Second Date
The first date was amazing! He was great, good looking, and really funny and you were just blown away! Even though you can’t really remember the date. But you’ll go on the second one, but there is no alcohol…and you just want to run home and watch First Dates with your housemates.
7) The OMG, I want to rip your clothes off
You had no expectations for this date. Hell, you’re only going because your friend is forcing you into it. You walk into the bar and almost trip. He’s beautiful, hilariously funny, but he’s so beautiful. Can we just get the taxi…now?
8) The Cheapskate
Unlike the student, this guy has a brilliant job and has been out of college five years. He’s also not from Cavan, but he bought the first drink so you have to get the next five.
9) Hey, I recognise that guy
You see him in real life. It’s terrifying. It’s your day off, you’re in Tesco in a tracksuit after getting your eyebrows done. Drop the basket and run!
10) The One That You Want
He’s so funny, he’s got a great job. Your mother may actually fancy him too. But it turns out he wants himself even more than you do…next!