Tales of love Sarah’s story: ‘My boyfriend beat me up in public’.

Blessing Duke

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Project Respect A Woman Campaign (RAW).  Photo credit: The Project Raw (Source)

On a visit to the saloon, I was opportune to have an intimate discussion with some girls while getting our hair and nails done. It was a private gathering that involved women talking about their love life in a room filled with warmth and free from bias. One tale stuck to my heart and it is amazing how strong she is after everything she went through. My name is Sarah and I am from Ireland. I began dating this Irish guy when I was 23 about to head for college. I always wanted have a college degree but I decided to postpone and wait tables for a year because I was deeply in love.

He is an artist and very popular in the town we live in and so having women flock around him is part of the job description. I accepted it in good faith because I admired his talent so much and believed in his dream of becoming an international artist. I was practically his personal assistant, travelling with him wherever and whenever he had to perform. Maybe that’s why I fell in love with him. I believe it’s every girl’s dream to have the kind of love I have. The always stealing a kiss even when your friends are around, always going everywhere together, even the loo, always waiting for the other person to show up before you place your order at the restaurants, always doing everything together and the sex was heaven on earth.

Our friends admire us, the guys encouraged their girlfriends to be like me and learn how to make a man love them like mine loved me. If only it took love to keep a man, I would be given five stars.I don’t know when he changed. I think I was so engrossed in the ‘true love’ blues I never for once asked myself if I was sure he was my true love. I just opened up my heart to love and the pain that ensued.

After dating for almost a year I had to travel to the UK for college, so I packed my bags, got into a plane and took the journey to my future. My boyfriend and I had already talked about everything so we could still stay together even while I was outside the country. I was expected to be out for at least three weeks, until three weeks turned to two months, then the fights started.

One day I called him and another girl picked up, I was shocked because it had never happened before, so I politely told her I wanted to talk to Bud, she asked me to hold on, I could hear her calling for him and telling him he had a call from a girl called Sarah, asking her why she had picked his call, his voice got louder, I think he had taken the phone from her and realizing it was me, he screamed some more then cut the call and switched off his phone. I tried calling a few more times and it was still switched off so I slept off.

I am not saying I’m perfect but truly, I never even had the eye for another man when my heart belonged to Bud. All the while in the UK, I stayed faithful to just him, even when my friends laughed at me.

First thing I did when I woke up was to reach for my phone to see if he had called at least, but it was a no-show so I tried to call him again, this time it rang and he did pick up. He did not allow me to ask about the previous night, he started explaining himself, telling me the phone went off because he threw it at the girl, who was one of his performers at a show he was at when I called that night.

The story seemed very reasonable; I had been on tour with him so I know how his dancers and friends had access to his things. When he said ‘Sarah, I love you babe’, every doubt, fear, anger, went out the window. I forgot about it and we moved on. We talked all week and it seemed like everything had gone back to normal. I had a two-week break from school so I decided to surprise my boyfriend so I didn’t tell him I was coming back. I got back to Ireland, got to my parents house, freshened up and went to his apartment.

He wasn’t home, so I called him and he picked, he seemed shockingly happy to hear from me, told me he had to quickly leave for Cork that day and wouldn’t be back for the next three days, I was disappointed but happy. When I asked for the key to his apartment, he told me he wasn’t expecting me so he had left with it. We said our ‘I love you’ and hung up.

That night, my friends asked me to go clubbing with them at O’Connell Street and I refused. I wasn’t interested in partying; I was really missing my boyfriend. My girlfriend practically forced me to just come along so I could have some fun and cheer up since I had been out of Ireland for a while.

The club was fun and I enjoyed every bit of it. I had so much fun that when they decided to take the party to another club around 2 am, I wasn’t fazed. My girlfriend who was heading the show told me to drive with one of their mutual friends who had been putting the moves on me all night. We were 4 girls and 4 guys, each driving. So we paired. And drove to the next club. It was so much fun. The guy, Rick, was interesting and very intelligent so we had a lot to talk about. When we got to the club, Rick parked his car, stepped out, walked to my side and opened the door for me, such a gentle man. Talk about chivalry.

With my head still spinning from Rick’s gentlemanly manner, I heard a laughter I could hear from my grave. It was Bud. I turned on my spot and I saw him in all his handsomeness, holding and kissing some chick. And it wasn’t the ‘fling-kiss’. It was the real deal and I knew it was because he used to kiss me that way too.

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Project Respect A Woman Campaign (RAW).  Photo credit: The Project Raw (Source)

I didn’t know when or how I appeared at his side, all I knew was I was there before him, in flesh and blood. And he felt like he had seen a ghost. He was speechless; he tried slipping his arms off the girl’s shoulder but the girl held unto it. My friends had asked me on several occasions that per chance ‘you meet your man with another woman on a date, what would be your reaction’. I always replied it could never happen to me, but here I was and it was happening.

Finally Bud broke the silence, he said ‘Sarah, how did you get here, why are you here, who did you come with?’ all these questions came out of his mouth. I did not know if I should answer or I should ask mine, so I chose to ask mine.I confronted him on why he had told me that day he wasn’t around and was in Cork when it was obvious he had been in Dublin. He tried to cover up by saying he just got back and had a business meeting with some friends who decided to end it up with clubbing. All the while, the girl didn’t leave his side and neither did she drop his arm.

After an awkward moment of silence I had to ask him, ‘babe, who’s she’, and he answered ‘my girlfriend’. And asked her to go wait in the car. All the while, my friends had already gone into the club.I felt the pain hit my heart. You have never been heartbroken until your man calls another woman his own right in front of you. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to humiliate myself that way, lest in front of another girl, so I tried to talk to him calmly. Asking, probing, trying to make sense of everything.

He began explaining, talking about how lonely he was after I left and she had been by his side (I was gone for about 5 months and we had dated for almost a year before then) when he needed me. He said he was sorry and didn’t intend to hurt me. I was so mad I slapped him straight across the face, immediately I knew she was the chick that picked the call that night and he had blatantly lied to me and played me for a fool.

The saying ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’ is so true because I do not know where the energy to lash at him came from. I was everywhere in his face, scratching, hitting and screaming. I was mad. He was not doing anything besides fight me off but the moment he noticed the girl had gotten closer, he hit me hard across the face. Like that wasn’t enough, he hit me again and again and again until the bouncers had to intervene. I had blood dripping through my broken lips, face red form his fist on my face and my eyes burning with tears.
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Project Respect A Woman Campaign (RAW).  Photo credit: The Project Raw (Source)

But nothing hurt like the pain in my heart. The pain, rejection, humiliation, shame, and misery in my heart were the worst of all. This experience broke my heart because Bud was the love of my life and I had thought of spending the rest of my life with him. After my two-week holiday at home, I travelled back to London and finished my degree. Rick, the guy I met at the club, kept in touch with me, he became my friend, and confidant and he and I now head over heels in love with each other. On the day of my graduation from college, he proposed and with tears, I said Yes.

Love is beautiful especially when experienced with the right person. It requires strength to have experienced something like what Sarah did especially in public. But the truth is you deserve to be happy and anyone who hurt does not deserve to have an amazing person like you. Never give up on Love.

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Blessing Duke