A list of things to keep an eye out for once you hit those pesky mid-twenties.
1. You can’t handle your alcohol like you used to. Gone be the days you could head out to the local and down one after another to little or no effect. Nowadays, you can handle one maybe two Guinness’s at a push but you better get that bag of crisps handy just in case.
2. You can’t wear “young” clothes anymore. You’re expected to dress like a normal person now. So spending those days in your
yoga eating pants and old university hoodie just won’t cut it.
3. You start to realise that everyone around you is either settling down or having babies. And you’re still single.
4. You look at a pizza and you think “Hmm, I distinctly remember my doctor telling me about clogged arteries.” I mean, you still buy the pizza. But now more thought goes into it.
5. You get people asking you “And what do you do?” while you’re there, stuffing your face with a bag of Hunky Dorys. You respond with something non-committal like “Oh, I freelance and stuff.” There, now you feel important.
6. You start saying stuff like “Oh yeah sure. I’ll just check my diary.”
7. You believe that buying yourself a pug will solve all your life problems like not having a nice house to live in, or not having a steady job, or not knowing how to use the washing machine. Yeah, a pug will sure fix all that.
8. You start to question all your life choices. Like, why did you do that degree? (Seriously though, why?) And tell me, why did you chop all your hair off? And also, why did you go out with that guy/girl?
9. You hear new music and you’re like “Wait a minute, that’s what they’re listening to nowadays?!”
10. You come to realise that at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what people think of you. Especially those young 17-year-olds who seem to have their whole lives ahead of them. And it’s a good thing you don’t care anymore what they think, because for sure, they think you’re ancient. So… yeah.