MakeLoveNotPorn: The social sex revolution that is inviting you to take part – and here’s why I’ve joined

Yvonne Kiely

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                                                  “Pro sex. Pro porn. Pro knowing the difference” (MakeLoveNotPorn)

One of the most integral parts of human existence is sex. Look through the annals of history and the common denominator underneath the customs, fashions and cultures is this one act – what surrounds it are norms and beliefs of how to ‘do it’. Fast forward to the twenty-first century, and we have sextech.

Sextech’s intent is to colour outside the lines, and draw human sexual experiences into a discussion that will innovate, stimulate, and evolve ideas of sex and sexuality, through technology. It’s the biggest business in changing our perceptions of reality – take a look at some sextech innovation here. Cindy Gallop is the unstoppable woman behind sextech’s fresh and fearless notoriety.

Sextech is technology, and technology-driven ventures, designed to enhance, innovate and disrupt in every area of human sexuality and human sexual experience (Cindy Gallop)

Using technology to reach into the meaning of sex and sexuality, and effect a change. Sextech is disrupting how we view the relationship between sex, society and us. It directly challenges the ‘adult content’ and ‘NSFW‘ mind frames we have that are cultivated and reinforced by  unhealthy, skewed attitudes towards nakedness, sexuality and pleasure.

Anti-Nudism. Photo Credit: JasonParis (flickr)
Anti-Nudism. Photo Credit: JasonParis (flickr)

Choosing not to be defined by the laws and stigmas of ‘adult content’, MakeLoveNotPorn is sextech that is revolutionising how we perceive real-world sex. This TED talk by Cindo Gallop from 2009 is worth a watch, and explains briefly what MLNP is all about.

 

Have you ever watched porn and taken it for granted as real sex? Sitting in detention doesn’t turn into a leather crop BDSM session with a busty, glasses wearing dominatrix and brightly lit camera angles unless you put the time and effort into staging it that way. That’s porn – it’s a career, acting, wearing the clothes and saying the things that will get the viewer off, and make your film popular on whatever site it’s featured on. Like Cindy, I’m not slamming porn. Porn is full of clichés. It’s also  made up of universal categories much of which you, I , we may enjoy. Try to think of a few…go on, it’s easy.

To illustrate this is a more fun way, I’ve gathered the top five most watched videos (in the heterosexual category) over one week from five popular porn sites.

Top 25 most watched videos in one week

How about the top 50 most watched videos on one of these sites, over one year (2016)?

Top 50 videos on one site over one year

Not exactly nurses and firemen, but you get the idea; there are certain themes, clichés, and ways of acting out sex that are commonly found in porn videos. Some of the themes present in the charts we could have easily predicted, however some may be framing sex in a way that promotes dangerous attitudes, practices and stereotypes – the amount of incest, situations where consent is unclear (burglary, domestic jobs which included babysitting and cleaning), and the idea that unprotected sex is sexy.

We have the right to an alternative way of enjoying sexual content. We have the right to watch sexual content without feeling the need to erase our browser history for fear of being labelled a ‘porn addict’. We have the right to enjoy sexual content that contains healthy attitudes towards sex, where there is consent and realism.

Enter MakeLoveNotPorn.

You can watch the full 15 minute documentary of MLNP here.

What this social sex revolution is, is regular people like you and me making films that show real life sex, on real terms. Makelovenotporn.tv is a website where if you join, you can rent real-sex films – $5 for three weeks unlimited viewing, or send in your own. You don’t just stream the videos there and then. This is a profit-sharing business, whereby 50% of the rental price goes directly to the creators of the video, and 50% goes into making sure the MLNP venture doesn’t disappear. The point of this website it that is is not porn. There are no clichés and no stereotypes.

I decided to sign up, and I had a look at how you go about sending in videos. First of all, house rules:

rules

  1. Your video must be of consensual real-world sex, captured in a contextualized, cliche-free real-world way.
  2. You must have all the necessary rights and permissions for uploading this video, and it must not infringe any third party copyrights.
  3. Every person who appears in your video must be 18 or older.
  4. Mean people suck. Don’t be mean.
  5. No children, no poop, no animals.

There is also a section where you enter the name(s) of the participant(s) in the video, and scans of their real life ID. Of course this information isn’t being shared with anyone, it’s just there to make sure that these videos are in fact consensual. What I really like about these videos, is the backstory included in the description. You get a sense of what these people are like, why they ended up recording themselves, and how happy they are to be doing it. All of this makes the experience of watching feel natural and all the more enjoyable because of it.

Let's respect our Naturist values!. Photo credit: Stephen Weppler (flickr)
Let’s respect our Naturist values!. Photo credit: Stephen Weppler (flickr)

This year Cindy Gallop spoke at the Dublin Tech Summit about MLNP, and how this social sex revolution and sextech business can benefit society. She goes into detail about the structure of MLNP, it’s profit-sharing and user- generated framework, and the reasons why she strongly believes it is, “the single biggest billion dollar idea not being explored”. She hints that perhaps Dublin could be the next sextech capital of Europe – if one is brave enough to stand up and invest in its future.

In a previous article, I wrote about sex tapes and the slut shaming culture that surrounds those who film themselves for their own pleasure and gratification. The idea that women in porn exist for the uses of the male libido is one that makes the need for an alternative to mainstream porn all the more urgent. Something that is not porn, just sex.

I’m going to keep my account on makelovenotporn.tv, and join the social sex revolution. It is through initiatives like this, still in beta, that significant social changes occur and completely shift humanity’s way of thinking into something new. Now that is sexy.

Love Revolution. Photo credit: Jessica Lucia (flickr)
Love Revolution. Photo credit: Jessica Lucia (flickr)

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Yvonne Kiely

If it's sexuality or music, I'm your woman. If it's holding an axe and filling you with a sense of dread, then you're probably in a Stephen King novel.