The break-up of a romantic relationship is a painful period which everybody should experience at least one time in life. Being strong is quite important, but it is hard initially. You should be honest with your feelings; you could cry, get drunk or even lay on the bed for the whole day. By following these five simple steps, this may help you recover soon after splitting up. If time could not heal all wounds, it could at least help you forget the pain. There are 5 ways that help you move on after break up.
1/ Discussion with your ex
No matter how long you have been together with your former girlfriend or boyfriend, or how good your relationship was in the past, it’s important to talk. When your relationship experienced problems, and the decision was made to split up, it’s important to sit together and talk with him/her as soon as possible; discuss the reasons why things went bad. In this way, you will have a better form of closure, and leave no unanswered questions to think about later on.
2/ Let yourself be angry
Anger is the second most dominant feeling after a break up; the first of course being sadness. You might get mad at yourself for meeting him or her; giving them your time; wasting so many chances; or, even making mistakes; or being angry with them for simply hurting you. Bear in mind, anger needs to be focused in the right direction. When you feel anger with yourself or your former boyfriend or girlfriend, do it in a positive manner. For example, you could run along side the river, do exercise, or cycling. It’s best to transform or re-direct your energy towards useful things. Do not harm yourself in any manner, and let yourself relax and release.
3/ Cut them off, completely
Some couples prefer to stay as friends after a break up; this may well be a contemporary solution because they believe it would be difficult to completely remove the person from their life. However, the best way is to unfriend, unfollow, delete, remove, etc. You need to disconnect with the ex. Try to limit the encounter to its minimum. If you work in the same workplace, you might need to find a new job. Traveling to another country is also a good solution. It helps you to become more relaxed, and have more time to review the things which have happened to you.
4/ List down the negatives from the ex
When you fall in love with someone, you can only see the good things about him or her. It has been said that “love is blind”. He or she must have some negative points that you seem forget when you are in love. People are usually quite willing to forego the negative aspects for the positive ones. The time following a break-up provides the most convenient time for you to actually be honest with yourself, and make a list of things you disliked about them, their appearance that you feel awful, ( such as their face when they just wake up, she or he often picking his/her nose, talking with his/her mouth full, or always complaining about everything). This helps you to become realistic with the ex, and furthermore begins to make them unattractive to you. You will start to think your ex is a just ordinary guy who does not deserve for your time and your attention as well. You could quickly move on.
5/ Forgive yourself
You should forgive yourself first. After a break-up, people often blame themselves thinking…. ” Why did I meet him/her?”, or ” What is happening, why we have broken up?”. Give yourself permission to cry. Everything happens for a reason, and life teaches us every lesson. You might not see things clearly right now, but the future will give you the best answer, and the clearest perspective. Take your time to accept the fact you are no longer in the relationship. Do not lose faith, or the hope of finding a true and loving partner. Instead of blaming yourself, you should spend more time with friends or family.
Each person has their own unique way to bring healing to themselves following a break-up. Remember to love yourself first. Become a stronger person. Arrange your thoughts towards what you want to achieve in the future. Ask yourself about what you have learned from your previous relationship which will help you in the future. Don’t push yourself to become involved in a new relationship too quickly. Take time to organise your life. Pay more attention to your appearance, your health, your other relationships. In the long run, you will recover a lot quicker and feel better about yourself.